Well, the days of taking care of my mom and me always sick because of my house continues. I'll give a little update, since I finally got the time to do so. So my mother's back actually came to the point that she couldn't work no more right now. She went at first to get these shots that was to take care of the swelling and *MAYBE* have the disc slip back in place. But at first, she and the local doctors thought it was calcium build-up or something. She now goes to Austin to get those shots, then this implant that was to lie to her brain that she isn't in pain, when in fact she is.

...

Well, guess what? The implants didn't work. They got removed after a week, 'cause all that was doing was sending electric shocks through her body.

So now, she went back AGAIN and they did this test to look directly at her spine. So now we're waiting on the results. In which every time she goes and when I get sick (whee...), we keep having to give a load of money... That $6,000 that was in my parents' account? Well... It dwindled to the point that we can't even buy groceries well and have to rely on dad's odd jobs.

...

In which he normally DOESN'T get paid...

Well, dad is back at the bend to work more for his parents, that just seems to think that me and mom are just annoyances and keeping dad to ourselves and that we have no right to have time with him... I'm sick with a swollen throat and neck... Goddess, it still hurts to swallow... And I'm trying hard to not go to the doctor's, for we don't need to waste money on me... It all should go to mom, not me.

And now I'm worrying far more than ever about my life... What am I going to do about my parents? Could they even take care of themselves when I ever move out? Will I go to college? Would I even be able to finish one frickin' book?? Could I ever satisfy everyone and not hurt someone..? Will my bird live after being attacked by a cat....? Can I even take care of myself...? What is in store for me in the future...??? Goddess, my throat constricted, and that's not helping me very much for my asthma...

Anyways... I guess happier subject is in need...

I'm going to be going to my niece's Halloween party, and I'll be going as the 'Living Dead Girl' from Rob Zombie. I've went to the Halloween Haunted House thing that mom's work had hosted on the 30th, but me and Josh didn't get to get there on time for the fun stuff. Just as well. We've at least got our palms read, and we got through the haunted house though the lights were on. Again, just as well, since Josh is actually afraid of the darkness. Sure, he (like everyone else but me, it seems) loves watching horror movies, but he is frightened of the darkness. Or more like what could be out in the darkness, anyways.

Well, I guess I better stop rambling before I end up making a book... At least this will be the closest to me writing anything... *Sighs* I have so much imagination, but I have no drive or will to actually get right down to work... I'm so pathetic... But I'll try to keep my mind off of matters for daylights and be happy so that my Empathy won't spread my worries and dreads and sadness to others.

Peace,
~Rose (The Very Unsure and Sad Writer)